When TV show writers get the Block and create an episode entirely from clips of previous episodes...

Good and dear Mr. Livejournal,
I write to you today in the hopes of proving that I am not so cold as I might seem now that we only converse via letters. How little these faithless words can insinuate! How I suffer by them and the lack of face-to-face experiences in our recent past. You are too popular for me, Mr. Livejournal, you and all of your high-profile friends. But, I understand: saving the world must always come before your devotion to your friends - if I should even give myself that title. I only hope that these words find you well and that they will perhaps inspire you one day to write back.
I promised Anathema Device that, if she provided the information I desired, I would acknowledge her and her cause here. Therefore, the types of information that she promised are below, followed by her answers. Thank you, Anathema! You have made a little Me very happy.

Anathema Device wrote:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
   
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
   
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
   
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
   
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
   
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
   
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
   
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

Anathema Device then wrote:

1. You may quite possibly know the most pirate jokes of anyone I know.
   
2. I Heart Huckabees. If anyone I know turned out to be an existential detective, it might be you.
   
3. Oatmeal! Wait, you weren't an RA during the Oatmeal Wresting Incedent...but you probably witnessed it. Geh.
   
4. Hmm..."comma splices are the root of all evil?"..."ARRRRgyle?" Crap, Omer, we need to work on having some private jokes.
   
5. I can't remember. Probably via McLeod, because I know I knew you before the writing center.
   
6. Possibly a racoon, or a lemur.
   
7. What comics do you read?

I also apparently, at one point or another, promised ratbaby that I would try to write a poem. As much as I feel like a character on Achewood for doing this, here is a poem about what I read in the news today:

It seems to me,
and don't get me wrong -
I'm no authority
and probably wrong -
that the arctic ices
are headed for doom,
and fetuses don't feel
for weeks in the womb.
Maybe I'm biased
or uneducated
or unqualified
or illiterate
or resenting
or such,
but the last I heard,
valid arguments
cannot be deterred
or even dented
by personality,
despite what others
may think that they think
or how it bothers them.

Due to the euphoric feeling of having successfully written a poem for the first time in a few years, I must have passed out or something because, I awoke on the carpet in front of my computer and found the following formed out of drool next to me:

It seems to me,
and don't get me wrong -
I'm no authority
and probably wrong -
that my poetic writings
can give people pain
and force them to writhings
caused by a dying brain.

I'm still not sure if this unconsciously-created piece claims that my poetry causes other people's brains to die, or if my brain - which (it claims) is dying - can cause pain in its withered state, or even if all brains after a certain age can be called "dying" because they're paring down the connections they created in early childhood. I mean, for crying out loud, at least if this piece is going to criticize my poetry, it should be a good poem itself... Man, my unconscious is totally not cool.

I forgot to mention yesterday, when listing interesting links, this wonderful site for men who support the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. I don't see any reason that any male reading this should not visit the site and sign the declaration right now. If there is a reason, please enlighten me.