Omer Bar-or (cremlae) wrote,
Omer Bar-or

Rubber: it's the new air.

Good morning, my friend! As they say in English, "it has been a long time." I think that it is safe to say that a new period is starting in my life (news=I quit Teach For America and now lead a once-more meaningless life in the comfort of unearned privilege), and with this new period comes new ambition and reflection on a rosy-colored past, and as we know from a recent Al Gore movie, old habits + new technology = unpredictable consequences. (Although I don't really have new technology, thus making the equation, let's say, entirely questionable in this context, I still predict some unpredictability.)

The project: wake up every morning at 9:25am (as long as time permits, to be revised when I have a job) - spend five minutes preparing myself for an exciting future - and at 9:30am sharp, spend 30 minutes writing. Today, we are starting a bit late (it is 9:42am as I write this, and I hope desperately that I will not count this uselessly complex introduction in my daily minutes of expository euphoria), but from this point forth: 9:25am=preparations, 9:30am=writing time.

So, where do you fit into all of this, my journal-reading friends? Well, you are the unfortunate ones here, since I've decided to solve two problems at the same time: my lack of recent writing and the lack fo recent posts on this Livejournal. In other words, my thirty minutes of daily writing will be posted, daily, here. I am truly, truly sorry.

Feel free, once you see the kind of writing that I am planning, to stop reading.

Freewriting 1 - July 12, 2006

I'm late - and not only am I late, but I am no longer on time - and this is really the meat of the problem. The meat of the problem is this: I am late, late to work. I knock over my Elvis Face of Glory Official Mug-Shot Statue, which bounces haphazardly across the floor. Damn statue. It's a well-known fact, and if I weren't so tired, I probably wouldn't be thinking about it (aside=the truth of it is that this is simply a very unclever technique to present an interesting fact about the world in which we, as the narrator and his narratees, find ourselves)... It's a well-known fact that, ever since the Great Earthquake of '07, everthing has been made out of rubber. By the Great Earthquake of Later in '07, one could already see, in the richer areas of the city entire houses bouncing up and down merrily, the children inside (covered from head to foot with cushions), bouncing with the house and luaghing giddily at a comfortable existence that they would, once grown up and confronted by the real world, come to secretly hate but on which they would always rely. The day after the GEL07 was the single largest market day for rubber products. The stock market, or what was left of it after the GE07 and the GEL07, went crazy. It was, needless to say, a day filled with mixed feelings. In the following election, a woman claiming to have invented rubber became president. It later turned out that she was senile, but with a bit of careful steering by the media, most people only heard that she was "creatively predisposed," which was obvious anyway, given that to be the first inventor of rubber she would have had to invent it about a thousand years before she was born. That, my friends, is an intense amount of creativity.

But, to return to matters of some urgency to me, I am still staring at my Elvis statue on the ground, and now I am even more late. This internal monologue thing has got to stop. Just yesterday, I was at the cash register, buying some groceries (Anti-Earthquake Rye [EAR], Earthquake Safe Cheese [ESC], Earthquake Safe Cereal [ESC], I hope you can see the theme... our society, in an attempt to save time, has divolved into nonsensical acronyming. The experts call this "Laziness-induced Word Mangling" or LWM -- their acronyms are never as clever as those produced by the masses.) So, I was at the register when I spotted a spot of Rubber Infused Balogna (RIB) on the counter, next to the conveyer belt that was quietly pushing my products toward ultimate freedom. When I was a kid, I used to eat RIBs every day, but haven't even seen them for years. I thought that they had stopped being produced after the deaths and lawsuits. Rubber Foods Inc. had nearly gone out of business and would have if it hadn't sold its now-highly-valued rubber to enemy countries. I hadn't heard anything about them in the news for years. It brought me back instantly to the days when I had been a kid bouncing excitedly, in the Less-Exciting, But Equally Large Earthquake of '09. We'd gotten the all-rubber house about a week earlier (at this point, after almost equally ridiculous amounts of money had been poured into the rubber-producing industry and any earthquake prediction scheme the government could find [Earthquake Psychics! Earthquake Control! And the utlimately successful Earthquake Analysis wing of the National Center for Scientific Investigations that Benefit the Rubber Industry {NCS-E-BRI}], earthquakes could be predicted to within a week, so my parents had decided to invest as quickly as possible when they first heard about the Coming Horror. I wore a suit of down blankets for the entire week, just in case.)

And, that's a half hour! Tomorrow will hopefully be more interesting, or at least less terribly-written. Bye now!

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